


It’s All Fun and Games Until Someone Starts Crying

by rebelforce



Series: Calendar Girls [3]
Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015)
Genre: Everyone is a dork, F/F, Family, Fluff, Holidays, Holidays with Han Solo, Thanksgiving
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-11-21
Updated: 2017-11-21
Packaged: 2019-02-04 23:20:32
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,495
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12781824
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/rebelforce/pseuds/rebelforce
Summary: Rey is truly very greatful for her new life but past memories come forward and she’s forced to make peace.Aka is it really a holiday unless someone in the family gets upset?The third installment in the Racing By series.





	It’s All Fun and Games Until Someone Starts Crying

**Author's Note:**

> Happy thanksgiving everyone!!! I’m posting this a few days before to get you in the holiday spirit. My computer is on the fritz so this was written and posted using my cellphone. I apologize if the format is abysmal!

Another page of the calendar flipped, and November was suddenly upon them. Thanksgiving had never particularly been Rey’s favorite holiday, though this mostly stemmed from the obvious. A foster family rarely had extra money for anything resembling a Thanksgiving feast; and even if they had, Rey suspected that the funds would have gone towards something other than holiday cheer. 

One particularly dreary year she had gotten in trouble for drawing a cartoon turkey on the dining room table to cheer up one of the other kids. Her foster father, a fat man with a severe case of narcissism, had locked her in the coat closet by the front door as punishment for drawing on the furniture. Thanksgiving dinner that year consisted of a lifesaver she’d found in someone’s jacket pocket. 

As she got older and was allowed to slip out of the over crowded home as she pleased, Rey found solace in the form of Finn’s house for the holidays. Even then, the word solace is being generous, as dinner was eaten among high tension. Finn’s father was a militant man with low tolerance for nonsense (or well, anything outside of his realm of comfort). Dinner was eaten in mostly silence, dusted with polite conversation about his children’s grades, or extra curriculars. Rey and Finn would slip away quickly after dinner was done, to hide away and play video games in Finn’s room. 

This year however, was going to be different. 5 months ago Rey and Finn had made a leap of faith and traveled to Maine. So now, this Thanksgiving was meeting them in a new state, with new significant others, and a slew of new family members to make memories with. 

Rey had never been happier. Even now, as she sat on her Uncle Han’s couch with her stomach over filled to the brim (she’d never seen so much food on one table), feeling a bit like she might throw up, Rey could not have picked one place she’d rather be. 

In fact, she was starting to drift off, her head on one of Leia’s decorative pillow’s, listening to her father and Han swap stories from when they were younger. 

“Do you remember? It was getting dark, and it was FREEZING out. I know Maine gets cold but this was extra terrestrial temperature.” Her father was speaking animatedly, the couch trembling ever so slightly from exertion. 

“Of course I remember!” Han was leaning over the arm of his chair, a glass of bourbon dangerously close to slipping onto the hard wood floor. “Your sorry ass got lost in the woods on the coldest night of the year, and Leia made me go and scoop you up.”

“If I remember correctly, it was you that insisted.” Leia called from the kitchen. “I was ready to lock up for the night and leave him out there.”

Luke scoffed at this from his seat on the couch next to Rey’s feet. “You would never have let that happen. You care too much.” 

“They say it’s my only flaw.” Leia pulled a pie out of the oven, resting it on the ledge to cool. “Han isn’t that the same night you cut open a moose?” 

“A MOOSE!?” Now it was Jess’s turn to pipe in from her post on the floor by Rey’s head. “You said you didn’t believe in hunting for sport.” 

“No, this wasn’t for sport kid.” Han took a sip of his drink. “I was gonna put Luke inside if it. Keep him warm.” 

It was Luke’s turn to be startled. “Inside? You were going to put me inside of a moose’s body cavity?” 

“Desperate times, desperate measures.” Han winked at Jess as she laughed, shaking her head at the ridiculousness. 

The doorbell rang then, and Leia left the kitchen to answer the door. “Jess is that the boys?” 

“Should be!” Jess replied, turning her attention towards her sleeping girlfriend on the couch behind her, using a finger to tickle the bridge of her nose. “Hey sleepy, can you wake up from your turkey nap?” 

“I’m not sleeping,” Rey mumbled, her eyes still closed. “I’ve just lost the ability to move for the next 12 hours.” 

Finn and Poe’s voices could be heard in the entry way, their cheerful banter a welcome addition to the already warm and spirited home. The boys had spent the earlier portion of the day with Poe’s family, a large and eclectic gathering of people. 

Poe beelined for Jess, tackling her onto the living room carpet. “Happy thanksgiving!” 

Jess squealed as he started to tickle her ribs, causing her to thrash around. “Poe I swear to god I absolutely will throw up on you.” 

“Not on the carpet!” Leia threatened, once again in the kitchen, this time waving a knife as a threat. “Don’t make me come in there. Han wrangle the children!”

“They’re not my children!” Han protested, “They’re 23!” 

Amongst the chaos, Rey sat up to allow Finn to sit between her and Luke. He nodded at Luke in greeting, sitting down and kissing Rey in the cheek. “Happy thanksgiving, Rey.” 

She turned to him with a smile, “Happy Thanksgiving Finn. This might be our best one yet.” 

“I’d agree, but I think one of our partners is about to lose an eye.” 

Jess and Poe had gone from tickling to full on wrestling, and now Jess had Poe on his stomach, pinning him to the floor by straddling his back. His arms were held behind him with her hands, and the young man was squirming with effort. 

“Forfeit, Poe!” Jess warned, ruffling his hair with hand she wasn’t using to pin his arms. 

“No! Why are you so strong?” Poe complained through gritted teeth.

“She’s a mechanic, Poe.” Han reminded the young man. “But then again, so are you and here you are.”

“Go easy on him, Jess,” Finn pleaded. “I like him pretty.” 

“Someone do the count!” Jess insisted, and Luke thumped a one-two-three into the arm of the couch. 

“He’s out!” The older man called, and Jess rolled off of Poe with a satisfied grin. 

“I think I broke something.” Poe pouted, rubbing his shoulder as he sat on the couch opposite the rest of them. 

“Just your pride.” Jess shot him a wicked grin as she sat down next to him. 

Dessert was served shortly after Poe recovered his wits, even though Rey insisted that she might actually puke if a fork full of anything got close to her. Instead, Jess fed her teeny bites of apple pie periodically, while Luke chastised them from his end of the couch. 

“Maybe you could pre-chew that for her, Jess? Make it easier.” He teased, laughing as Rey stuck her tongue out at him. 

Once they’d finished, they somehow found themselves on the topic of beer pong, the conversation circling Jess and Poe and how they absolutely “kick ass” at it. Such a boastful claim caused Han to challenge them to a duel, choosing Finn as his partner. The four of them went out on the back porch (despite the frigid November air) to set up, leaving Luke and Rey alone in the living room. 

“How are you doing?” Luke asked, turning to face her better. 

“Hanging in there,” Rey groaned, rubbing a hand over what used to be a flat stomach. “I understand now what it means to have a food baby.” 

Like chuckled, shaking his head. “That’s now what I meant. How are you doing, really?” 

“What do you mean?” She inquired, her eyebrows furrowing. “I’m alright.”

The expression on her father’s face let Rey know this conversation was going to lead to something serious. “Are you alright?” She put emphasis on ‘you’, deflecting the question away from herself.

Luke sighed, defeated. “Well... When you first arrived, I looked up death records for the Arizona area in 2005. To find your mother.” 

“Oh.” Rey knew where this was going. 

“She passed away this time of year.” 

“Yeah.” 

“We don’t have to talk about this if you don’t want to,” Luke assured his daughter, as her gaze had suddenly fallen to the pattern in the couch cushion as if it were the most interesting thing she’d ever seen. “I just thought that this might be a tough time of year. Especially this year, with so much having changed.” 

Rey shrugged, leaning further into the back of the couch. “It got easier as I got older. Remembered her less.”

Luke nodded, a somber edge to his tone. “I’m sorry you dealt with this alone for so long, Rey.” 

“You don’t have to apologize again.” She shook her head, before looking up to meet his eyes. “I just have one question.”

“Of course, anything you want to ask.” 

“Did you love her?” 

By the look on her father’s face, Rey could tell the question had surprised him (she’d even surprised herself, if she was being honest). For as little as she knew about how her parents had gotten together, that was always the question Rey had wanted an answer to. Growing up reading books and watching movies about couples falling in love, Rey had always imagined that her parents had been the characters in a tale of star crossed lovers. 

After a moment, Luke found his voice again. “You want to know if I loved your mother?”

Rey nodded, hoping she hadn’t crossed some kind of line. 

“No. I didn’t.”

The answer cut less than she thought it would. “Oh.”

Luke leaned forward, placing a hand on one of Rey’s. “Your mother was beautiful. She had a killer sense of humor, could make conversation with strangers in the grocery store, and she knew every line to the Breakfast Club. Your mother fed the stray cats scraps from the table and watered the neighbors flowers while they were away. But your mother had a temper. Your mother had a drinking problem.” 

Rey was quiet, the information brand new to her. 

“I could have loved your mother, Rey. I could have. But there are some people in this world that have so much self hatred, deep down inside themselves. We can’t always save someone when they are their own worst enemy.” 

Rey thought of her own sweet girlfriend, who sometimes let her self hatred bubble over and spill. Jess still held a lot of resentment towards her father, and it played out in her interaction with the world. But Rey still loved Jess with fierce loyalty. 

“Do you know how she died?” Rey asked, and Luke shook his head. “Her liver failed. Alcohol poisoning.” 

Luke sighed, rubbing a hand over his face. “I wish I had known about you. I can’t...” he trailed off, and Rey noticed a glimmer of a tear in his eye. “You deserve better than this life has given you.” 

Rey shrugged. “I don’t know about that.” 

“It’s true.” Leia had joined them in the room, a steaming cup of tea in her hands. “But we have you now.” 

“You’ve been more than hospitable,” Rey started, looking from her father to her aunt. “Finn and I can’t thank you enough.” 

“You’re family, Rey,” Leia insisted. “Families don’t need to say thank you.” 

Rey smiled at Leia, and Luke pulled her into a hug. “I may not have loved your mother, Rey, but I love you. So much.”

“I love you too,” Rey whispered into his shoulder before they pulled away. 

The sound of the four people on the porch cheering made it’s way into the house, the warm peacefulness dissipating. 

“Maybe we should go outside,” Leia suggested. “Witness the chaos.” 

The three of them wandered outside, joining the impromptu party on the back porch. Jess was belly laughing at whatever Poe had just said and Rey had to admit, the sound of Jess laughing still gave her butterflies.

While Han and Finn took turns making their shot, Rey creeped up behind Jess, wrapping her arms around her torso and tucking her chin into Jess’s shoulder. 

“Hey baby girl.” Jess plopped a kiss to Rey’s cheek, humming as Rey squeezed her into a hug. 

“Hey yourself,” Rey replied, returning Jess’s kiss but not releasing her grip. 

“It’s going to be awfully hard for me to play with you wrapped around me like this. Not that I’m complaining.” 

Rey shrugged, only snuggling closer into her girlfriend. 

“What’s wrong?” Jess asked, concern in her voice. Leave it to Jess to pick up on the slightest change in Rey’s mood.

“Can we go for a walk?” Rey asked. She wasn’t particularly sure what was bothering her, but the conversation with Luke had her feeling like she needed to talk to someone. 

Jess turned in their embrace, cupping Rey’s face in her hands. “You okay?”

“Yeah.” Rey nodded, kissing Jess’s palm. “Let’s just go for a walk, I need some air.” 

Finn looked at her from across the table, mouthing a “you okay?” but Rey simply nodded, making a mental note to fill him in later that night.

The two broke away, Jess choosing Leia to finish up the game in her place. After much coercing on Jess’s end for Rey to grab a jacket, the two girls were off walking down the sidewalk, street lamps lighting the way. 

“Did you really need some air, or is there something you need to talk about?” Jess slipped her hand into Rey’s, using her body heat to warm their fingers. 

Rey was quiet for a second, carefully aiming her steps to crunch leaves on the concrete. “My mom died around this time of year.”

“Oh.” Jess reacted, but knew there was more to what Rey was saying. 

“Every year I dread Thanksgiving, because it reminds me of losing the only family member I ever had.” She paused again, to collect her thoughts. “But you see, this year Luke just had to remind me that my mom died this time of year. Because for the first time ever, I had someone else to think about.” 

Jess smiled at her, but the look on Rey’s face made her uneasy. 

“I... I don’t know if I should feel guilty or... happy that I finally have someone to share this with.” Rey shrugged, kicking a pebble and watching it skip across the ground in front of them. “I just can’t believe we’re here and you’re real, and Luke is real...”

Rey trailed off, a tear rolling down her cheek, suddenly followed by more. Her face shined in the lamp light, golden streaks on flushed skin. 

“And now I’m crying and I’m not sure why.” Rey moved to wipe her face, but Jess caught her arm, pulling her into a hug instead. 

“You’re allowed to cry.” Jess’s voice was low, comforting. “You’re allowed to feel all of these emotions at once.”

“I don’t remember her.” Rey sniffled, burying her face into Jess’s jacket. “I don’t think I could point her out in a photograph.” 

“Oh my girl.” Jess felt a tear of her own slip down her cheek, and wiped it before Rey noticed. “Here, let’s sit.” 

Jess took her jacket off, lying it on the grass next to the sidewalk so they could sit down. “Come here, let it out.” 

Jess let Rey sit between her legs and lean into her chest, where Rey cried for what felt like hours, but was probably only minutes. Rey’s sobs gradually turned into hiccups, and Jess waited until they were mere sniffles until she spoke again. 

“I wish I could take everything that’s happened to you and make someone pay for it. I wish I could go back to every moment you spent alone and hold your hand.” Jess bent her head and kissed the top of Rey’s. “I wish I could erase the burden of your past, or at least share it.” 

Rey didn’t answer, but snuggled closer into Jess. It was so long before either of them spoke again that Jess thought Rey had fallen asleep. 

“I love you.” Rey finally whispered, her eyes staring at something far off. 

“I love you too.” Jess kissed her head again, punctuating the statement. 

“You’re shivering.” Rey pointed out, feeling the way Jess’s arms were quivering ever so slightly around her.

“Well, we’re sitting on my jacket.” Jess pointed out. There was no malice in her voice, just humor and affection. 

Rey sat up then, unzipping her own jacket so that Jess could slip into her side. “Better?” 

“Much. How about you?” 

“Better.” Rey paused for a second. “I don’t know where that came from.”

“It’s alright, Rey. I know how it feels to be down a parent this time of year too.” 

“When does it start getting easier?” 

Jess thought for a moment, her left hand lazily tracing patterns on Rey’s arm. “When you find someone to fill the space.” 

Jess looked up at Rey then, their eyes making contact, wordlessly sharing their affection towards each other. They kissed, both of their lips lightly chapped by the chilly November air. For that moment, they both forgot why anyone was upset in the first place. 

“Do you want kids?” Rey asked when they broke apart, steering the conversation in a different direction. 

“Whoa. Aren’t you supposed to ask me to marry you first?”

Rey snorted, rolling her eyes. “Not with me. Just as a hypothetical.”

Jess shrugged, brushing a lock of Rey’s hair behind her ear. “I don’t think so. At least it’s not at the top of my list. I’ve had enough parental trauma for one life. What about you?” 

“I don’t know. I think I’d be a lousy parent.” 

Jess tutted, tugging Rey’s ear. “I think you’d be an amazing mom.” 

“I thought you didn’t want kids?” 

“I thought this was a hypothetical question?” Jess retorted, eyebrows raised. 

Rey blushed, looking away and at the sky. “I don’t think having kids with you would be the worst thing in the world.” 

Jess smiled, laying her head on Rey’s shoulder. “Well to that standard, what would be the worst thing in the world?”

“Having kids with Poe.”

Jess laughed, the statement catching her off guard. “True. Let’s pray for those future children.” 

They relaxed again, both of them staring at the stars ahead. Each one twinkled brightly, putting on a firework show for just the girls to see, contrasted by the deep inky sky. 

“I feel like the stars shine brighter in the winter. What do you think?” Jess’s tone was so full of wonder, like a child’s, that Rey felt her stomach do flip flops. 

“I think the brightest star is sitting next to me.” 

Jess laughed, ruining the moment. “That was so cheesy.”

“I’m trying to be romantic!” Rey scoffed. “I just blew snot bubbles into your shirt for 20 minutes, forgive me if I try to save the night.” 

“For future reference, just don’t try.” Jess teased, resting her forehead against Rey’s. 

“What can I do instead?” Rey quipped, enjoying their closeness. 

“Kiss me.” 

So Rey followed orders, pressing their lips together under the starry sky. She shivered, but it was hard to tell whether that was from the cold or from the kiss. 

“Should we go back?” Jess asked, locking her fingers together on the back of Rey’s neck, keeping them close. 

“No.” Rey replied, kissing Jess again. 

“Everyone might start to get worried.” 

Rey sighed, defeated. “All right. Tell me something good on the way home?” 

“Sure.” Jess smiled as Rey helped her stand, slipping her arms back into her jacket. 

“My friend Rose is coming home for Christmas.” 

“Who? You’ve never mentioned her.” 

They headed back towards the house, fingers interlocked. 

Jess smiled guiltily. “Well... she’s kind of an ex-girlfriend.” 

“Kind of?” Rey raised a brow in response.

“Well, we knew each other through high school, and she started working at Han’s before I did and kind of helped me get the job there.” It was Jess’s turn to kick a pebble for distraction. “She was kind of my first?”

“Why do you keep saying kind of!?” Rey laughed, exasperated. 

Jess laughed too, shaking her head. “I don’t know, maybe I thought it would soften the blow.” 

“Well I’ll be glad to meet her. Unless you invited her here to like, rekindle your relationship or something like that.” 

“No!” Jess all but yelped. “God no, Rey. You’re stuck with me.” 

They climbed the steps to Han’s front door, listening to the sounds of chatter inside. 

“Ready to go back in?” Jess asked, smoothing the front of Rey’s coat. 

“I think I need one more kiss for motivation.” 

Jess was happy to oblige. 

“Thank you for everything, Jess.” 

“Thank you for loving me, Rey.” 

With the stars as their only witness, they kissed again, and Rey opened the front door to the family home she’d always wanted. The warm air washed over her, a physical embodiment of the glowing compassion and appreciation she felt for all of the people within those four walls. 

Rey was finally home, and Rey had never been more thankful.

**Author's Note:**

> Please have a happy, fun, delicious holiday. Also, please talk to me about your Last Jedi feels. It’s so close I can taste it. I’ll see you for Christmas ;)


End file.
